Why You Keep Thinking About Food (And Why It’s Not Really About Food at All)

Do you ever feel like food takes up 90% of your thoughts?
Before you even sit down to eat, your brain has opened a million tabs:
How many calories is this? Did I do enough exercise today? Is this too much? Too little? Will I need to compensate later? Should I swap the potatoes? What if I eat this now — what about tomorrow?

It’s exhausting. And it’s not a normal lived experience — even though it feels like it has become one.

Here’s the truth: your constant thinking about food has very little to do with food, and a lot to do with control, safety, and your past.

Food as a Vehicle for Control

When you obsess about food and your body, what you’re really doing is trying to find something safe and predictable in a life that doesn’t always feel safe.
Food becomes a vehicle — a place to channel your anxiety, a way to self-soothe, a method of creating certainty.

It’s not about the carbs. It’s about control.

And if you’ve lived through experiences where control was stripped away — trauma, instability, chaos — then controlling food and your body can feel like the only way to cope.

The Dopamine Loop

There’s also a neurochemical piece here.
Thinking about food can give you a small hit of dopamine — the neurotransmitter linked to motivation, focus, and reward. For many women (especially those with ADHD traits), the “million open tabs” of food thoughts are their version of hyperactivity. It keeps the brain busy, gives stimulation, and feels safer than stillness.

But of course, it’s never enough. You eat, and the thoughts don’t go away. Because it was never really about the food in the first place.

Living in the Past and Future

Most people who are stuck in food obsession are also stuck in psychological time — replaying a painful past, while projecting fear into an uncertain future.

Your past pain becomes the evidence for your current fears: “If I don’t control my body, I’ll be judged. If I eat freely, I’ll lose control. If I relax, I’ll be abandoned.”

But the past is already done. And the future hasn’t even happened yet. You’re living in a prison of your own history — while food and body thoughts act as the warden keeping you there.

It’s Not About Food — It’s About You

At the deepest level, food obsession is rarely about nutrients, calories, or even body image.
It’s about love. Safety. Belonging.
It’s about unmet needs that were never fulfilled, and the coping mechanisms you created to survive.

Food just became the easiest, most socially acceptable way to channel that.

Breaking Free

So how do you start to shift this?

1. Recognise the pattern – Name it for what it is: not hunger, but a search for control and dopamine.

2. Get curious, not judgmental – Instead of asking “Why am I so bad at this?”, ask “What do I actually need right now besides food?”

3. Connect back to safety – Breathwork, nervous system regulation, and self-trust practices calm the hypervigilance that fuels food obsession.

4. Challenge the narrative – Food is not a moral test. It’s nourishment, connection, and energy — not a reflection of your worth.

Final Thoughts

If you spend most of your day thinking about food, know this: it’s not because you’re greedy, weak, or broken. It’s because food became your vehicle for control, safety, and self-worth.

But you don’t have to keep living in that mental prison.

When you reconnect with yourself, when you begin to heal the stories underneath, food stops being a battlefield — and becomes what it was always meant to be: fuel for living, not a measure of who you are.

✨ Next time you catch yourself in food rumination, pause and ask:
“What am I actually seeking here — control, safety, or comfort?”
That question alone can start to change everything.