Didi (01:33.39)
Welcome back to another episode of the DCA podcast. I am so excited for you to be here because this episode is going to be a little bit different. I don't know why, but I feel like I've been procrastinating on this because if you have been following me on social media, I have been in Dubai for nearly two weeks now. And I've been really wanting to show up and explain a little bit more about why I'm here because it's probably not what you think. A lot of people have said, Dee Dee, have you come to Dubai to be on holiday?
I'm like, yes and no. Me being me, if I see an area or a facet of my life that I know I can improve and work on, and that I understand that there are blocks in me, I will dissect them to within inch of my life. My inability to not try and work on something that I recognize with it me needs help or support or understanding.
I'm aggressive, and I'm taking you on that journey with me. So when it comes to scarcity mindset, which is something that I very much recognize, I would say that I struggle with at times, and often that struggle is just with memories of my past, my upbringing, the stories, and the attachment to a narrative that I still have within my subconscious mind. Now that might sound a little bit confusing, but let me explain a little bit deeper.
When you experience certain situations in your life growing up as a child, none of my own personal circumstances are uncommon, right? Many of us have had addiction, abuse, we've been around really uncomfortable and traumatic experiences in our lives. So what that does at certain neurodevelopmental stages within a child or an adolescence is actually cause a rewiring of a nervous system. Now that can then...
without awareness be translated and put in this little backpack that we carry decades upon decades later into our adult life. And then when we see certain problems come up for us in business relationships, we start to think, why is this? Why do I keep seeing these recurrent patterns happen for me? So I'm in a chapter of my life where I'm really aggressively wanting to pursue the growth of my business.
Didi (03:43.232)
to become more comfortable holding wealth, to see myself as a CEO, a female entrepreneur, a business owner that calls in energetically all the things I've ever dreamed of for myself. But I realized at the beginning of this year that energetically I was blocked to that.
I realised energetically some of the reasons in which I chose to come to Bali, not somewhere like Dubai, was there's a subconscious part of me that does not identify Didi, Ferrari as the human, the coach talking to you right now, as somebody that is in Dubai, as somebody that lives that lifestyle. And I'm not really here to sort of talk just about the glamour and the glitz of like the cars and the money and the display of wealth.
I just realized that within me, which I didn't even know, was this slight compartment that went, that's not you. You're not that person because you don't think you can be that person. And not from like an egotistical, like material possessions wise, because those things are great. I look like they're attractive and it's not that I view those things as negative or judgment upon the people that own them. What I've realized is I just don't associate myself with them.
And I thought, that's wild, why don't I? I want to own a business that makes six, seven figures. I have all these dreams and these aspirations to help as many women and block themselves to get to their dreams with their body, their nutrition, and become this weapon within women's health and take all of these women and leave a legacy where I change as many women's lives as possible. And I want...
the financial impact of that to be represented in my bank account. Like that's something I want for myself and that's something I probably had a bit of judgment. I've always had a bit of a scarcity mindset around money. So my decision to come to Dubai was yes for a holiday, but also in a really, really weird way. And I laugh when I say this.
Didi (05:39.0)
but it was to rewire a subconscious belief that I don't feel comfortable holding wealth, being around wealth, identifying myself with wealth. And I don't know whether many business owners will understand that. I've had a few people reach out and go, that's quite interesting. I kind of understand that. I understand that you energetically kind of don't feel that you align yourself with it. And that's not about values or judgment. That's just, I'm understanding that my history has caused me to believe that I'm not that type of person.
So how can I say that I want a million dollar business when I'm trying to squeeze the last bit of toothpaste out of my toothpaste? Energetically, it doesn't make sense. My behaviors aren't congruent with the vision I have for myself and the identity that I want for myself and my business.
If I'm subconsciously withheld in this prison, this container of my mind that says you don't feel safe around money, that you can have money but you're always going to think it's going to go, that it's going to be taken away from you or that you're always in this fear or this like resistance, there's conflict within you around checking a bank account and you know clients and money, money scares me and I'm not you know...
I'm not afraid to say that, that's a vulnerability in me and I think I need to understand that because the aspirations I in my business, like I've said, I can't continue to live within that. I will get nowhere. So a few months ago, I thought more about Dubai and Dubai's kind of been calling to me for many months now at the beginning of this year and there was this part of me that went, wait a minute Dee Dee.
Why? Why does Dubai feel like this kind of friction? You've never been there or you've heard of people's stories of it. Some are good, some are negative, whatever, that's their own judgment. But why do you feel that way? Why don't you align yourself? Like, what are your judgments of it?
Didi (07:25.708)
And I just realized I don't feel comfortable around wealth, which is crazy. Like I want to feel comfortable around that. I want to be proud of my earnings and using my gift and that's reflected in my bank and the money that I make for myself because I want to support myself and then eventually support my family later on and then those people around me.
I want to live in abundance and I can't have an abundance mindset when subconsciously there's this fear around not making enough, losing money, bills, taxes, all of these things that are like scaring me because of anxiety. I needed to understand that. So I booked a flight here and I took an opportunity to be here for two weeks to really challenge myself in that area. And honestly, it's been so enlightening.
to see myself, to think subconsciously about like why, why do I not feel like I could be that person? And for that I have to understand my past and my history and I'm very comfortable kind of sharing a few elements of that because like I said, my story isn't uncommon. I grew up in a household where there was financial difficulty, single parent household trying to look after four kids, putting money on the table and then there was topics of depression or addiction that...
financially impacted me and my family. Not necessarily me personally because there were just stories, you know, I wasn't that child that could go on some of the more expensive school trips. I could never go skiing as a kid. couldn't, I was just always conscious of it, very aware of it, know, bills. I could see that the stress it caused those people that I loved around me. And as a child, I understood.
I understood the emotions because we didn't talk about it. We just knew that money was tight and I took on that responsibility for myself at a very young age. I say young, 16, you when you can start having your first job, work in a pub, whatever. The responsibility of money was something that did scare me. And it's weird because I've personally, myself, never been in debt. I'm always incredibly responsible, probably a bit too responsible with money.
Didi (09:29.602)
And even when I am in abundance per se of money and I have a lot in my bank account, I still don't feel safe. And that's something I'm understanding in like a kind of business mentorship at this capacity to help myself. Like I have money. I've never been unsafe around money. I say unsafe in terms of like, I've never had to ask people for money. I've never been in financial debt. Like on paper, where is my problem? My problem exists in fear of the future based on my past.
because I saw other people's stories around money and I adopted that for myself. I made that mean something. It taught me that my world had to be fearful of money, that when people had money it went. And the people around me, the way they talked about money or didn't talk about money, like it was an unconscious or a conscious choice, what I adopted for myself.
are just remnants of what I heard as a child and I didn't realise that. That was living inside this part of my ego or my subconscious brain. But now I realised that I came here to sort of challenge that, to understand that for myself. And it's not about the yachts, the Ferraris, the exuberance of it, the display of it, you know, showing of it. I just realised I needed to... Who am I with money? What does that mean to me?
Where's the fear and the judgment of myself because it's stopping me call that in energetically, you know each month being worried about income ins and outs and that's not going to be reflected in how I show up for myself the way I market myself I see that already now and I judge myself, you know, I don't I don't want to be too salesy I don't want to be this I don't want to be that I've always kind of been very conscious of that because Talking about money to me was just not something I grew up with and if we did talk about money
It was a negative thing. We talked about when we didn't have it. So it's just been really enlightening as a 35 year old adult, now as a female business owner, entrepreneur, to really get to the crux of that. And what the hell, what the hell is that? So now I'm in this really powerful, I feel very powerful having recognized that and going, that's just a story I told myself.
Didi (11:38.208)
That fear and anxiety I carried in my body, it's just a visceral memory of my past. It doesn't exist. There is no other moment other than the moment I have right now. I'm suffering in psychological time. If I had a men in black memory click and I erased that right now, where would my problem be? My problem doesn't exist. If I can't continue to bring my childhood or my upbringing and what I heard around money, experience around money into my future, that's...
barbaric and I'm trying to prevent a future that hasn't happened yet. I'm trying to protect myself from a worst case scenario that hasn't happened which is just wild to think and I know that's so uncommon for a lot of the female coaches that own their own businesses within the fitness industry and
I just think it's incredible, a piece of enlightenment that I want to share from my own experience to help you if that's something you're struggling with too. And within the digital nomadic experience of choosing a location, think fitness industry is very much geared towards kind of Dubai or Bali. They kind of like, they were for me, it's like sort of two options. And I chose Bali because financially it seemed the safer option, right? You see where I'm going with this. The cost of living, so amenable.
I can afford to live there. I can afford the slight luxury I give myself. But I've realized over time, when I habituate to that, I've been living in Bali for about a year and a half, it also can keep you quite small. And I needed to challenge myself. I needed to be around people that earn potentially, you know, higher incomes or...
It's not that people in Bali earn so much money. I mean, you can be talking to a guy in the sauna or a coffee shop that's in e-commerce earning six figures easily. People in Bali are very entrepreneurial. It's very nomadic. People are making millions of pounds on their laptop. It's very inspiring. I just think for my own subconscious beliefs, it fitted my narrative and kept me a bit small. So as a byproduct of that, I didn't really challenge myself. It wasn't helping me to grow.
Didi (13:48.514)
And that's not to say that now when I go back, I'm going to fall into that pattern because now I see it. Now I can change my behavior, my language, the way I show it for myself and my business and my clients, market myself appropriately, be passionate and create from a place of inspiration and joy and play instead of this fear and this scarcity of I'm not this or that. I need to get money like that energetically. I wouldn't want to be around that. I wouldn't be attracted to that.
So why would I think that would translate into a business model that's going to be highly and wildly successful, going to earn me six, seven figures? It's just not. So I realized that my choice to live in a cost of living location, that's good by a judgment. It also, for me personally, kept me a bit small. For other people, that's different because their history and the narrative they have about money is different, what they grew up with, whatever. For me, it just fitted my inner monologue of you're not going to be that person that earns this money.
You don't feel comfortable around wealth, you don't feel comfortable about displaying wealth because you never had that for yourself and you also at some point in your life judged other people that did. So for a bit of context, I grew up where money was spoken about in a past life and the life that I was associated with wasn't part of that. Money, there was a mansion, there was a swimming pool, there was a Ferrari in the drive, but that was gone. There was bankruptcy, there was financial collapse.
that money went and hearing that dialogue I didn't even realize this I just associated myself with that so money was always talked about of something that we had in the past and not what we had now and then energetically about the future it was always a concern or worry we had to scrimp we had to save we had to be very conscious of that it was a very scarcity and fearful mindset which I totally understand that that that's not a negative on anyone that's just what it was
It was what it was. I can't change that. I don't want to change that. But what I have now is empowered. It's inspiring for me to unlock that part of my brain that now sees that and move energetically into the next few months or Q34 of this business year. I'm really skyrocketing my success with my business and what I offer as products because it unlocks my creativity. I'm not each week thinking, God, how do I market myself? How do I do this? I can now...
Didi (16:11.146)
call in everything that I want energetically because I'm open to it. I'm not living in this fear of waking up every day thinking, God, where's my money? You know, it's gonna go. I'm okay. I'm safe. And money for me just never felt safe. And that's okay. I understand. That's just the story I told myself.
But I can change that as a 35 year old grown ass woman with a business now, right? We're taking responsibility for our life guys. We're not a victim. And I realized I didn't even know I was a victim to my own conversation with myself. Now I really hope you guys are staying with me on this because I think it's really powerful when you understand it. You might need to listen to this episode again. But this episode is for anyone that struggles with money.
struggles with owning a business as a female entrepreneur that feels like scarcity and the fear around it is something that they live within either consciously or subconsciously and I want to help you unblock that by sharing my own personal experience of why I came to Dubai so I think you can understand that now that I've spoken about it for a few minutes, however long I've been speaking about.
And I'm new to this. I'm not saying I'm sitting here in this world of enlightenment. I'm just saying that cloak that was like veiled across me, this cloud around money and my business is now gone. I see sunlight. It feels light. It feels free. I feel like my shoulders are relaxed and I can now be like... And what is open to me as an opportunity is I can recognize...
what universe is delivering to me, the opportunities, the content I want to create from my soul, that's authentically me. can speak about even creating podcast episodes like this, I probably wouldn't have done that previously. I would have thought, well, that might be a bit woo-woo out there and, you know, is this going to be relatable? many, many, many people live with scarcity and fear around money. It's a topic that kind of haunts a lot of us based on what we've witnessed as children growing up within our households.
Didi (18:14.294)
So why on earth would I feel like what I'm speaking about now I wouldn't want to hear? I want to hear this episode. This would have helped me a year ago if I'd heard it. I would have gone, damn, she's talking about me. I am her. So I really hope that me discussing kind of this life that I lived with, and this narrative, this conversation I had that was just a memory of my past around parents or people within my life that had experienced unfortunate events with money, I made that mean something about me.
And my business mentor recently kind of said, you know, I have savings, I'm comfortable, I'm okay financially, where's my fear? And I was like, well, if you really want to know, this is my past or my history. And that vulnerability within me to be like, here's everything, this is what I'm dealing with, this is the story and the beliefs I've held about myself based on my family and people I've been around about money.
So it's just incredible to realize how much of my life I've spent with that as a story and that kept me small. It kept me not showing up at marketing myself because I hid myself. It was a form of visibility, right? I recognize what I have as a gift to share and I deserve to be paid for that gift, right? And that sometimes makes me feel a bit uncomfortable because I'm like, ugh, like, you know, I...
I don't know, it feels weird sometimes, but I think it's crazy how much, you know, people don't bat an eyelid. Like they show up and they're so confident around marketing themselves. And I realized I don't really do that. I can show up and talk about topics and I have authority and I have confidence within that because I've been coaching for 10 years. But when it comes to, you know, promoting myself, that feels a little bit more uncomfortable because it's me.
And that's a reflection of how I view myself. And that just shows me that there's still some work to be done on my value, seeing my truth and my value, that I'm worthy of that, deserving of that, as you are. And I think so many coaches within the online space don't show up as they should be because they are scared to be seen, they are scared to be judged, they are scared to ask for money.
Didi (20:32.814)
to be seen as worthy of being paid for their services, their products, and you see that. You see that in how much people charge for their time and the amount of time they spend talking about themselves. I'm like, girl, please, you have an incredible product to sell. Talk about it. I haven't heard you show up on your stories and talk about what you can do for months, weeks, and then you can't sit there and go, well, I haven't made much money this month.
Because you didn't talk about yourself. You didn't offer a call to action. Clearly. So I then just need to take a dose of my own medicine, right? You know, a mentorship from a nutrition coaching capacity, something I'm going to be entering into very soon. And that's something I'm super excited about. And I need to be confident. I am changing my pricing, my business models, my structure, thinking about different products. I'm now in the energy of creation because everything I desire is already mine.
I do not have to be living in this scarcity mindset of I need something, it's in the future, therefore I don't have it. That energy is just going to, unfortunately, energetically, the Catch-22, keep me stuck in exactly where I am. I don't have it, therefore it's in the future, therefore I don't have it now. No, everything I have that I need right now is what I have, and I recognize my worth, my value, and my gift, and what I can offer.
And I'm gonna show up more confidently in that, which is why I came to Dubai, to just experience a bit of what it's like to be uncomfortable around spending a bit more money on myself and on things, you know, you get very used to spending 50p on a taxi ride, where you come here and it's like 20 quid to get anywhere and it's like, ugh! And you know, that's growth, that's growth because what discomfort? You gotta choose your discomfort, the discomfort of staying the same or the discomfort of changing.
and I'm experiencing that for myself. I'm trying to live it, embody it, breathe it, make it my bread and butter because I want my goals. I want my dreams and I want my aspirations and I want to live in abundance and I'm currently not because I was living in scarcity, especially when it came to money and that's a reflection of how I valued myself and what I thought about myself. I really hope you were able to follow this train of thought.
Didi (22:52.268)
And I really hope that you enjoyed this kind of insight into more of the psychology elements of why we struggle sometimes with things. But our only suffering, our only struggle is in psychological time. It lives in the past or the future. The past is already done. It doesn't happen. It's gone. It's finitoed. It's finished. It doesn't exist anymore. You can't go back there.
So to live in that is insanity, but also to live in the future of something that hasn't happened, to live in fear of trying to avoid a future that hasn't happened is also insanity. Where insanity doesn't live is in the present moment right now, where you can live in creation, pure possibility of living up to your full potential, which is what I help my clients achieve with their nutrition and their bodies. So I'm going to end this kind of...
TED talk about money and scarcity and how they both align with each other and how really financial freedom just comes from freedom of yourself. Freedom of the glass ceiling that you kept yourself, the prison that you kept yourself in based on events of your past that are gone. And a lot of them were just lies anyway.
Okay, if you have any further questions, please reach out to me at dilly at coachbydilly.co.uk or you can find me on Instagram at DiddlesFrizzle, sending lots of light, love and positivity. I hope you enjoyed this podcast episode. I will be back in Bali next week. And if I have any more thoughts on Dubai, my experience here, I will share that with you. But I hope you feel a little bit more unblocked and have some pause for thoughts from this. See you next episode. Bye.
